Monday, June 8, 2009

Umma's World

Tomorrow our grandson Jayden ‘graduates’ from Nursery School.
In the Fall he will start Pre-K which is a full day of school, five days a week.
Baby no more, now he’s a ‘big boy’. I miss the newborn, I miss the baby, I miss the toddler.
Feeling this way about letting go of Jayden’s babyhood makes me look back in wonder at my apprehension when he was first born. I thought it would be hard to get back into the swing of things after Jayden came along, it’s been a long time since I’ve raised my own kids, and I felt so much like I was happy in so many ways to say good-bye to that time in my life. Been there. Done that. It was all so beautiful, but it was time to move on.
So when Jayden entered our lives I had a lot of trepidation about starting over.

My daughter Katie and Jayden live with us and she works full-time, so I have the honor of watching Jayden full time during the week. I felt too old to be raising another one. But Jayden has been such a Blessing to our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, there are days I am just worn out beyond belief! I really do feel too old to be keeping up with his energy and I'm very happy to see his Mommy walk in the door in the evenings! But he’s usually such a good boy, and he adds so much happiness to each and every day of my life.
It is a joy to be so much a part of Jayden's life, to watch him grow and to have been right there for his 'firsts', first words, first steps, first attempts at feeding himself, and first attempt at saying 'Grandma' (and that's how I became "Umma"!).

I feel that Jayden misses out on a lot though having Umma watch him full time.
I don’t really get to ‘spoil’ Jayden the way a grandmother should.
Jayden hears a lot of “Sit still.” ~ “Eat everything on your plate or you get no dessert.” ~ “Don’t be fighting with the other boys in school.” ~ “Be polite.” ~ “Don’t talk back to me!” I’m the ‘rules and regulations’ grandmother to Jayden because of the situation.
And with my granddaughter Mia, she hears “Oh, leave her alone, she’s not doing anything wrong” because with Mia I get to be the ‘spoil her and send her home to her parents’ grandmother. Mia gets to visit us for a short while, we get to indulge her, and then she goes home. But this is Jayden’s home, and so Jayden misses out on that special grandparent/grandchild relationship. It’s like the poor kid has two mommies. And he lives in a house-full of adults, which translates to Jayden having a LOT of bosses. It’s got to be very frustrating for the poor little guy, but I have to say, for the most part, he handles it very well. Very rarely now are there any meltdowns, not many tantrums like during his ‘Terrible Two’s’, he really tries hard to cooperate and please his Umma.

For the last four years, four months, and eight days my life has been so Blessed as my world has revolved around this little boy:

Umma's baby boy!

Happy First Birthday!

Jayden's Baptism Day!

Jayden's 2nd Birthday!

Summer fun!

Jayden turns three!

Jayden's first day of school! (Separation anxiety, more for Grandma than Jayden!)

Jayden turns four!

Umma's Boy ~ Umma's World!


  1. These pictures flooded me with feelings and memories of my children and grandchildren Eileen! Jack will be a year old on the 22nd. And Sarah and I have always been really close( I babysat a lot back when she was little). And I know exactly what you mean about being worn out. I can't watch Jack like I did Sarah,Too much! Jayden is so gorgeous he looks a lot like you and grandpa! I'm sure you will get a picture of his first day of kindergarten!


  3. Well, I read your wonderful post earlier, but couldn't comment as my computer and keyboard were doing their once ever 10-20 times I powerup, there is no keyboard communication!

    It's hard to pick a favorite picture out of all these gems, but I do love that huge baby grin and the Pirates of the Carribean is too cute. Jayden just looks so much like you, Eileen, it's amazing, but then so does Mia!

    Don't worry Eileen, you are so sweet and enough cuteness and fun that Jayden is getting the best of both worlds, for sure!

    blessings and lots of hugs,


  4. Hi Eileen,
    You expressed my very thoughts, as my daughter and my grandaughter Bailey lived with me until just two years ago...she is now 11. I know exactly what you mean about having to be the disciplinarian when a small child lives in your home, and you feel like the bad guy, and sometimes end up being overwhelmed and overtired.

    Now, Bailey and her mom, live with her boyfriend, and it has taken me a lot to adjust. I missed them so much. Bailey is and will always be very close to me though, as I have 7 other grandchildren who live in California, and Bailey has a special place in my heart, as I know I have in hers. Jayden, is very lucky to have you, and like Bailey, you have a special place in his heart too.

  5. Oh Eileen what a wonderful post of Jayden (love his name) I feel you are so blessed to have him with you, I know it must be a lot of work for you but so worth it. Congratulations Jayden, you are so loved by your wonderful family.........:-) Hugs

  6. Reading your post Umma brought tears to my eyes. Our grandson Thomas lived with us part time for seven years. He lived here with my son and had a room just like Jayden does at your house. His mom worked full time so I watched him everyday. Thomas called me Minga. I think GOD puts us in these kids lives because they need us so desperately. For me it was a very different relationship than with my other grandchildren too. I love them all with all my heart but with Thomas more rules and things like that. When he left after seven years I was devastated. I have come to learn though that GOD gave me Thomas to take care of because he knew I would take care of him with all my heart and soul. Like you say it wasn't easy. It was fun but a lot of work too. When GOD thought the time was right Thomas left my care. It was truly a special relationship we had and I feel so blessed to have had it as long as I did. Now Thomas is a teen and we share many wonderful memories of our time together. Your little Jayden is adorable ♥

  7. Thanks so much everyone for all your heartfelt comments. And thanks so much for sharing your own stories. It's nice to have someone you can relate to. I dread the thought of the day a separation comes, it's different with your own kids growing up and growing away from you gradually.

    But I'm not going to dwell on what sadness tomorrow might bring, I'm just going to live in the moment and appreciate the Gift that God has given me today!

    God's Blessings!

  8. Eileen...don't worry, you are a wonderful Umma...I completely understand your trepidation...I hesitated offering to babysit my first born grandson...not wanting to be a "disciplinarian" to him...but it all worked fact I feel creates such a tight bond with them; he's now 21...over the years I have watched 7 of my 9 grandchildren full time...sometimes 3 at a time...I am happier for it...feel so close to all of them and they to each other...You are just one more person for Jayden to love deeply...Your grandchildren are adorable...they even look like you.

  9. He is a adorable and it was fun to watch him grow through the years. He does look so much like you. I am currently reading a book called, "The Female Brain" and it talks about the influence of a grandma. That if she is there often and consistent in the grandchild's life, the relationship can actually influence generations to come. So what you teach Jayden, will not only affect him but also his children and grandchildren. Incredible if you think about it. But I also can relate to the tiredness. I'm exhausted just having my grandkids for a few hours :)

  10. Thank you, Wanda, you make me feel better, and of course going to your oasis (blog) helps to renew my soul!

    And you too, Jill, I enjoy so much visiting your blog each day. Always a story to uplift and spread the joy!
    Thanks for sharing about the book, that's something I'd be very interested in reading.

  11. Such a handsome little boy....I don't have any grandchildren yet, but I am looking forward to it....they grow so fast don't they...

    Thanks for the comments on my post.

  12. Look at those eyes and smile!! Beautiful, beautiful pics. You must be so proud! :)