Our family has been deeply saddened by a recent loss. For reasons of privacy I'm not going to mention any names.
But if anyone reading here will please say a prayer for all unborn babies, and all families who have suffered such a loss I think it will help. Thank you.
It really is overwhelming when you think of all the joy the news that an expected baby brings to the family, and then to have that joy cruelly replaced by crushing sorrow and loss, and a horrible feeling of 'never to be' and 'never to know'.
When telling Jayden about the baby going to Heaven before it was born he said to me, "That's because she was having twins and now it's just one. And I think she will grow strong and be born." I thought that was just his little mind trying to work it out that things would be okay for her and everyone.
Later on he was busy playing, and I walked into the room and he said to me, "I don't know what her babies names were in Heaven, but I know my name was Jack. And I don't know what Sophie's name was in Heaven, but I know Mia's name for sure was Rebecca." Then he looked sort of far off and reflective and said, " Well, it wasn't really Heaven, it was like a waiting place."
Later in the day I was talking to my daughter Katie on the phone, telling her all Jayden had said, and she told me to ask Jayden what Eoghan's name was in Heaven and he said, "I don't know, I only know Mia, because we were waiting together." Then I asked him if he thought this newest baby we had been waiting for would really grow strong and be born, and he said, "I hope now, but maybe not. But it doesn't matter really, because she'll come back again when she's ready. Sometimes they come for just a little while, but then they get scared and go back to Heaven. But they always come back to us, sometimes in different bodies, and sometimes in the same body. But they always come back to the same family, so her baby will be with us soon."
Before he went to sleep that night he told me that he and Mia knew they wanted to be in the same family. He said he picked his Mommy and Daddy, but he wasn't there when Mia picked her Mommy and Daddy. He said, "We weren't cousins when we were in the waiting place, but we knew we wanted to be."
He also told me that babies who are born sick or have something wrong with them are the bravest. He said, "I didn't know Sarah Palin's baby, we weren't waiting together, but I know that he is very brave."
Jayden's such a funny little guy. He's so wild sometimes, and he's so pre-occupied with playing, and it really takes me by surprise when he suddenly stops whatever he's doing to make these intense declarations.
I'd like to think a lot of what he said is fact.
Sorry I've been away so long, and seems like it will be a few weeks more before I can post again, or visit regularly. In the meantime I keep you all in my prayers.
Love,
Eileen
It's Been A While
7 months ago
