Okay, my brother-in-law Donald and I have a difference of opinion on what is considered romantic. And he also seems to have a low opinion of women in that he feels a woman can not give him evidence of a romantic gesture without it involving a man spending money on her.
Donald, and my sister-in-law Susie, and myself were discussing this topic and Donald said that he felt it was romantic for a man to work hard at his job and come home and hand the paycheck over to his wife. He felt it was romantic because the man wasn't looking for anything for himself from the paycheck, he wasn't cashing it and first buying himself something that he wanted, he wasn't stopping at a bar to have a few drinks with the guys, he was coming right home and handing his hard-earned money over to his wife.
Now, Susie said she thought this was evidence of love and not romance. And I agreed.
But after awhile I got to thinking more about it, and while I do think a man who loves his family would act in such a manner, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with love. I think that behavior is classified under responsibility. I just asked Ray now his opinion and he said that working and bringing home a paycheck is fulfilling a sense of obligation towards your family. You don't have to love somebody to feel responsible for them.
I know of families where the fathers did act very responsibly by working hard at jobs and bringing home their paychecks to provide for their families, but they did not act loving, they were abusive fathers and husbands, so no, there was no romance involved in bringing home a paycheck there, and I don't feel there was much love involved at all.
As far as jobs and chores, generally, I don't find it romantic to do either one. I don't think it's at all romantic for me to clean the house, and I don't feel the least bit slighted if Ray doesn't look at that like a romantic gesture toward him! And if he chooses to do some cleaning himself here, I don't think that's romantic either. It's his home too! I appreciate any help anyone wants to throw my way in anything I'm endeavoring to do, but I don't think it's necessarily romantic! But there are exceptions to that. When Ray knows I want my blog to have a new look, and he changes that for me, I find that very romantic. When he's washing pots and pans after I've finished cooking, not so romantic.
Donald said he had asked a few women to give examples of a romantic gesture, and he said all the women he asked said things like, "A nice dinner, or bring home flowers, or surprise them with jewelry, or candy, or some little gift." He did not like at all that every example was materialistic and involved spending money.
I said that I agreed that those things were romantic and I also agreed that they were tangible acts of romance that involved the man spending money, but I don't feel that all romantic gestures have to involve money at all.
Raymond has picked through the neighbors garbage and brought me home some of my most prized possessions in my home, now that's romantic and it didn't involve spending one penny!
Taking a walk together, planning for the future, a back massage, holding hands, cuddling, a kiss, a hug, a special look you give each other in a crowd, compliments, all these are romantic and don't involve money spent by either partner.
Some of the romantic things Ray has done for me lately are: putting my favorite songs on my IPod, fixing my blog for me, showing interest in the things that interest me, knowing the names and remembering the stories about my blog friends (WOW!), giving me phone calls throughout the day just to say 'hello', and when he gets out of bed in the mornings he fixes the covers to make sure I'm tucked in when he's getting up to take his shower.
Those are just a few of the things that I consider very romantic gestures.
I'd like to know everyone's opinion on this subject. What do you think?
1 week ago