Monday, September 7, 2009

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad

My parents would have been married 63 years today! They were married September 7, 1946. They were married at a Mass at 11:00 A.M. and then went on to a small breakfast reception. My Mom said it was a very hot September day. And she said there was a band strike on at the time so they only had a juke box for music.
My Mom wore a heavy satin long-sleeved dress, she said she was so warm! She said she saw it in the window of a bridal shop one day on her way to work, and she fell in love with it, then she saved and saved until she had enough to buy it. It was a beautiful dress with tiny little buttons that ran all the way down the back. And it had a very long train. She had beautiful satin shoes to match, with an ankle strap and an open toe.
Her youngest sister was her Maid of Honor and she wore a green satin gown. And her oldest niece was her Flower Girl and she wore a dusty pink gown. My Dad and his Best Man wore morning suits.

My parents had met on a blind date in New York while my Dad was on shore leave. He was in the Coast Guard during WWII, and while on leave he said he was playing pool with some of his buddies, and one of them asked him if he wanted to go along on a blind date and my Dad agreed. My Mom said she was at work and one of her coworkers said she was meeting her boyfriend after work and he had a pal that needed a date would my Mom go along.
They were meeting at a restaurant and the girls got there first, my Mom said the guys came along and my Mom was hoping that she'd get the 'handsome one' and she did! And my Dad said he saw two girls waiting for them and as they were getting closer he said he just kept saying to himself, "Oh I hope I'm not getting the blond one, I hope I'm getting the redhead." And he did!
They spent the next two years writing to each other as my Dad then was serving in the South Pacific. In one of his letters my Dad asked my Mom to marry him, and he sent her a check and asked her to please pick out an engagement ring for herself. And he said if the answer was no, he still wanted her to cash the check and buy herself something. Well, obviously the answer was YES!

I didn't get a chance to scan into the computer too many old pictures yet, so I can't show you any of their wedding pictures, but this is a picture of them from their 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration.

And this is a picture of them when they lived in the little semi-attached house they bought after they were married for a few years (they spent the first years of their marriage living in an apartment with my Mom's parents where two sons were born to them.) This house was the scene of many family parties and get-togethers. I have wonderful childhood memories of this home, and of the many Saturdays that my Dad would be barbecuing for all the relatives!

I think this picture was taken soon after they had moved into the house. My Dad is standing holding my oldest brother Tom, and my Mom is kneeling in front of him holding onto the baby stroller (I'm not sure if that is my brother John in the stroller or if it is my cousin Kathy, I'm thinking it's Kathy as she is reaching for my Aunt Marion there, I don't know where my brother John is then because I know he was born before they moved).

This picture is of myself with my parents taken at the wedding of my cousin's daughter. It wasn't too many years after this that my parents both started having major health problems.

And I don't know why I feel the need to post the following, but I do feel that I somehow have to preserve a very beautiful memory that I have of my Mom.

Psycho-analysis ~
This is how I feel about it:

I can NOT stand psycho-babble! I can NOT stand it when you say to a therapist something like, "I had a really good day today", and they respond by saying, "So what you're really saying, Eileen, is that you would have liked to have a really good day today but something prevented that, right?" HUH????
Or they will say, "Okay, what I'm hearing is that you're having a major problem today." HUH???
I find them to be mind-boggling! I finally got to a point where I would be saying to them, "I don't know why you can't hear what I'm saying, but what I'm REALLY saying are the words that are REALLY coming out of my mouth. And what I REALLY mean to say are the words that are REALLY coming out of my mouth."
I don't want to go into anything personal with my family but suffice it to say that I have come in contact with a few therapists, counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrist. Not one was a pleasant encounter.

Now, some people thrive on 'talking out your problems, and digging into your past' type of analysis and that's fine. It's just not for me. In fact, it is the exact opposite of me and my comfort zone. If I am living a delusional life with delusional memories, and I'm happy, then leave me alone.
I remember one therapist asking me to recall a favorite memory from my childhood and I told her that it was my Mom rocking me to sleep as she sang song after song to me.
And this counselor prided herself on finding a 'breakthrough' (a breakthrough for what I don't know!), she asked me if I felt abandoned by the fact that my Mom was 'trying to get rid of me' as she was 'lulling me into inactivity so she wouldn't have to be bothered with me'! HUH????
This therapist seemed so offended that my reaction was not one of joy at having reached this epiphany, for all I had to say was that, "NO, I don't feel any of that at all, I always feel safe and secure and completely loved by my Mom when I remember that."
The therapist really kept dwelling on that memory and wanted me to see it as some form of abuse or neglect, and she just kept shaking her head and saying I was in denial.

Well, Mom, I never have and never will see my favorite memory of you as anything but the purest form of love.
You and Dad were the BEST! You were the best couple. You were the best 'man and wife' team. You were the best parents. And I am so grateful to you and will always remain so. I love you both so much and I miss you both so much.


  1. Oh my gosh Eileen that ending, I'm sorry, was really funny. You are so much better than me. I wonder what would have happened to me after I told the therapist to shut the #@!# up ! I probably would have gotten hauled away and I wouldn't be here today!

    Sometimes if you feel that you are o.k. than you are! There are some that just must pick things apart and are not capable of taking things at face value.

    I love the sweet story of your mom and dads meeting and him sending her a check for a ring. And I can really see his smile in yours Eileen. I wonder if that photo of you and your parents was from the 80's? It looks like we did our make-up the same back then!

    The black and white of your family reminds me of your gatherings now and all of the happy faces! Your mom and dad looked very young there.And it's neat to see the same family resemblances now and then. It is a great photo Eileen! You have a good strong and loving family! Love Di

  2. Hey sweetie, What a blessing to have had such awesome parents. Mine were pretty great, too. I'm so glad you didn't let the devil steal the joy from your sweet shared memory!! I don't care much for the therapy thing either unless they are Christians and are applying God's Word to whatever the issue may be.

    Love your photos, too. Old family photos are the best!

    Hope your weekend was a good one and that God bathes you in His love and peace. I miss my folks, too. Sure know how you feel.

    Love and hugs,

  3. Eileen...Thank you so much for this post.
    What a wonderful love story...the first date...the ring... the description of your Mom's gown. It sounds so beautiful. I'm glad your Dad got the red head...and you are blessed to have had loving parents. The way in which you shared a portion of their lives on the date of their anniversary shows a loving daughter that has many many memories...and I'm so glad you shared this portion of them.....with me. I usually say 'us'....but I read this one as if was written just for me. I wish your still had your parents...I do. I send you much love...and a special 'thank you' for a well-written 'Happy Anniversary' to your parents. They are a beautiful couple. Love to you, Eileen.

  4. Sounds like the therapist had issues with her own mom...a memory of being in your mom's arms and being rocked is a memory of pure love being expressed to me. I wonder what the therapist would make out of a memory of being scolded a little.

    That was a nice story of how your parents met.
    In the old photo the other woman kneeling looks like your mom, almost like twins. Your last posts have been very family oriented Eileen...I'm sure your parents have been on your mind...being their anniversary...My parents's anniversary is on my dad's birthday, June 3rd and June 4th is the anniverasary of my mother's passing...that's a sad time for me.
    You have a wonderful family to enjoy Eileen and memories too.


  5. Hi Eileen, how wonderful that your parents have made the journey this far together. God bless them both.

  6. I don't think there was a juke box, I think Mom-Mom played the piano because of the strike.

  7. HI EILEEN -
    A truly beautiful story. I SO enjoyed reading how they met and that they had a juke box for music at their wedding. Wonderful.

    I am SO sorry you have had such bad experiences with therapy. It gives good therapists/counselors and the excellent work they do to really help people such a bad rap when the one's who are quite ill themselves are causing more harm than good. I have been an addictions counselor for over 20 years and I take a lot of pride in my work and I feel privileged to have been part of anyone's healing journey. I have never hurt anyone, only helped. I wanted you to know that.
    Again, such a beautiful love story and I am thrilled to read about it.

    Love Gail

  8. Thanks, everyone for visiting!

    Gail, I didn't mean to disparage EVERYONE in the field, and I know people who have been helped a lot, I just I haven't been there.

    Thanks, Wanda, I know how much you value your family too, and I know you lost your Mom much the same way I lost mine. It stinks. But I am glad that I have so much good to hold onto also.

    Jackie, you are always so sweet and I appreciate it so much. You always have something positive to say.

    Thanks, Becky,for stopping by, and thanks for all your kind words, and thanks for being so understanding.

    Diana, you always make me laugh, and you always make me feel better about everything and anything! Thanks so much!

    Diane, no, Mom told me it was a juke box and that they really didn't have a 'wedding song' because of the band strike but that someone did play on the juke box "I'll Be Loving You Always".
    Mom Mom played the piano when they all went back to the apartment.

  9. Hi Sweetie, these are my favorite kind of post, when someone shares a bit of their story. I love how your mum and dad met and married....the love you feel for them is so obvious and it's also very obvious you were very much loved and loved them back just as much. Keep those loving warm memories close to your heart....and keep making wonderful memories with your family now. You are blessed and I know you appreciate your blessings. You look so much like your dad.....:-) Hugs

  10. Oh my that therapist was too much. I agree, sometimes they take things way to far...interjecting stuff from their imagination. Love the black and white picture of your family...wonder what year that was. You look beautiful in that picture with your parents, as you do in all your pictures.

  11. What lovely parents you have..and what a great picture of you with your are just so pretty!! You're lucky you had such great parents...
    Love, Jerelene

  12. They are truly lovely, Eileen, and I think you have done them great tribute in this post. What is it with people who try to make something awful out of sweet, dear memories? I'm glad you didn't allow that woman to rob you of your precious memories of your parents. I have great ones of mine, too, and that is fact, not fiction. Just as your memories are fact, not fiction. You can't make up love.


    Sheila :-)