Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Bewildered Not Despaired

What do you do when you hit a brick wall? When do you decide it's time to give up?

I guess that all depends on what we're talking about, I mean if it's something that doesn't really matter to anyone's life it's easy to say, "I'm outta here!", or if it's work related, a little project that's not going along as it should, you can just scratch the whole thing if it's not going to have an adverse affect on anyone's life.
But what if the cause of your bewilderment is a he or a she and not an 'it'? When do you say "I give up, I'm outta here!"
I know the answer should be NEVER. And I know without a doubt a very good answer is to put the situation in God's Hands, but that could have been done from the very beginning. There really is no reason at all then to stress out about any situation if you truly believe that every situation is Guided by the Master. There's really no reason at all to feel desperate about any situation in life.
But I don't know anybody like that. In fact, if I met someone who did not stress about anything, I would deem them insane. Does that make me a non-believer when all is said and done?

And what if after much prayer God's Answer is that He wants to use you as the instrument to resolve the situation? I'm so bad at deciphering messages like that. Is it haughty to think God might need you to solve any situation? Aren't we getting a little full of ourselves there? But then again, the Bible is full of situations where God used the lowly to achieve a great many wonders.
So, back to my original question ~ What do you do when you hit a brick wall? When do you decide it's time to give up? Does God ever tell us to give up on anyone? And is stepping back from a situation giving up?
Unfortunately with me (if God has me in mind to use) I'm more of a 'Three strikes and you're out!' type of person rather than the 'Seven times seventy' type of person.

I've always known it's much easier to talk a good talk than to walk the good walk. And that's why I don't talk all that much if you know what I mean, because when the chips are down, rarely can I follow through.
Oh, I know you good people reading here will rise to my defense, but really there is no need. I don't think I'm a horrible person, I'm just being completely honest about my limitations.

You know how all the self-help gurus tell us to surround ourselves with the positive? "Positive people breed positive people, positive thinking breeds positive actions", etc. Well, then are we to avoid those that are constantly negative? Aren't we then cutting out those that need us most?
I know I've said a lot in my life, "I'm tired of all the negativity, I'm only going to surround myself with the positive, I'm going to surround myself with happy, uplifting people who make me feel good!"
Well, Mother, Mother, pin a rose on me! How selfish is that?

While my current situations do not leave me with a feeling of despair, they do leave me bewildered. And it does leave me questioning. I'm not questioning my Faith in God to always do what is right. I'm questioning my faith in me to do what is right.


  1. Every situation is unique Eileen, it's not possible to stop caring though. In the end it's up to the individual to make changes in their life or solve their own problems...all another can do is be honest with their own feelings toward that person, if another were being hurt by their actions though, that is a different story.

    God alone does not solve our problems or fix things, or else there would be no innocent children hurt or dying in this world.
    Stepping back is not giving up...it's just you accepting the fact that you can not fix it...only he or she can. If they know how strongly you feel...what more can you do?


  2. Sometimes, you just have to "let go and let God"! I have hit many a brick wall! ((((HUGS)))) T

    I so understand your bewilderment and what to do when up against a 'brick wall'. For me, I accept where my power lies - which means I can't fix anyone but myself. I ask if my help is needed and offer what I can. I set boundaries and allow the other person their freedom to do or not do what makes most sense to them, which usually, I might add, never makes sense to me. ! This re-enforces my powerlessness over anything outside myself. phew. It is never easy when it is about those we love and we 'know they are headed for disaster - oh how well I know, and sometimes it is just necessary to 'trust the process', the other persons process so they can learn what they must to grow and redirect, hopefully. The waiting and watching is so hard - I know. ANd try and believe that allowing them their mistakes is a gift. Easier said than done though.
    I hope this helped some.
    Love to you

  4. Eileen, Wanda has expressed exactly how I feel, I can't express how I feel any better than she has. We all have hit the brick wall at certain times in our lives but it is up to each of us to make a choice, to decide if we need or want help...even doing nothing is a choice. When we care about someone or something it is very difficult when we know they are hurting and we are unable to step in and make it better, but sweetie it is what it is and you have to trust yourself and know with a pure heart and much love all decisions made will be the right one. Love you.....hugs to Jayden and Mia..:-)

  5. Well I do what I am capable of doing. I will try, try and sometimes try again. And after all of that, if the situation or person starts to bring me down, I'm done. The rest is up to God.

    It's good to help others and try our best to do our best. But the way I see it, my family always comes first. If the situation or person stresses me to the point where it affects my family life, It's time to let it go.

    Do good works, but simplify.
    Love Di

  6. WOW no wonder I am so happy to be a part of this incredible village! Everyone has given you such amazing advice! I can tell you from personal experience that letting go and letting God has been the hardest thing in the world for me. But once I did....and do.....wonderful things begin to happen. I always think I am in control of life and its journeys...HA HA HA. Just talking about what ever is going on in your life...has already answered your questions! There are some very wise people in the village...
    hugs and well wishes...smiles across the miles...

  7. Sounds like you are up against some hard times. I've often thought about the very same things as you have pointed out in this post. I guess it comes down to boundaries. As long as someone wants me in their life, I want to be in their life too, but I can't have them continually stomping on me or my family. So I have to set boundaries in my mind. I guess it's called survival. And as far as our Master asking us to help Him...I think it just gives us an opportunity to be His servant. If we don't help, He will ask someone else and then we will miss out. That's how I see it anyway.
    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Doesn't it seem too like problems are worse during the holiday season? It's like everything is amplified...the good and the bad.

  8. Dear Eileen, I don't know how to answer that. I can only tell you that I have hit a brick wall many times in the past. Like you say if it is a he or a she what do you do. In my situation I have always choosen not to break the relationship. Is that the right thing to do? I don't know. It can be very hurtful to be the recipient of so much bad will. On the other hand, I know God never promised any of us a rose garden here on earth so I keep trying. I know there are others out in this world with more heavier burdens and larger crosses to carry than mine but it still isn't easy. The only real thing that works for me is my faith. I know I'm supposed to be learning something but it's hard when I don't know exactly what it is.

  9. Thank you all for your words of wisdom.

    I'll get flack from some people for saying this, but I really feel sorry for people who have no Faith. I think whatever void is in your life, if you don't have Faith, that void will never be filled.
    How do explain to someone who has little to no Faith what a wonderful fulfillment it is? And it is very hard to console or advise someone who doesn't have Faith.

    Well, I'm glad I don't have to solve the problems of the world.
    And if I ever do, I'll know who to call on. Thanks, girls!
    Love to all,

  10. Eileen...I am not a wise person. I know One that is. I have been facing walls before...and I don't like the view...so, I ask God to help me change it... I can't do it myself. I've often tried. I send you a hug from a friend that thinks the world of you....please feel it.

  11. Eileen, I think we all get to a point where we cry, "Uncle." Commit it to prayer. There are times when the Lord says to wipe the dirt from your feet and move on when someone doesn't want to receive the Good News of Christ. Sometimes when we are trying hard to be nice to someone that isn't responding and is returning bad behavior, I start wondering if I am enabling that person to act that way. It's a tough call. I pray that God gives you direction in how to handle it. I'm sure you will do what is best.


    Sheila :-)