Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Happy Anniversary, Dad

Hi, Pop.

I can't believe it's been two years. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, but most days it feels like it didn't happen at all. You are still here, up in your room in Calvary, waiting for a visit from us. We'll come at dinner time, and then we'll stay and watch Jeopardy with you, or the sports channel. You and Ray will talk while I rearrange the pictures and cards on your bulletin board. Sometimes I go downstairs to the cafeteria to see if they have the Tomato Soup that you love so much.
Ray sits in one of the chairs, I like to sit on the windowsill. When Jayden comes he likes to climb up in the bed with you. He still talks about the time he shared his grilled cheese sandwich with you. And all the times you shared your chicken lunch with him. I can't believe he remembers those things, he was only two. He talks about you a lot, Pop. You know, the day before you passed, he told me that "Pop-Pop is going to Heaven tomorrow" and when I asked him who told him that he said, "Mom-Mom"!
I think he has a special connection with you, Pop and with Mom too. I hope he always does.

Do you know how many times a day something will happen, or I'll hear something on the news, and I'll say to myself, "Oh, I have to tell Dad about this when I see him later." It's weird I would feel this way because everything about you leaving felt so right, Pop. And it was such a beautiful moment, such a peaceful, joyful, sorrowful, heartbreaking, wonderful moment.
So I don't know why I feel like I'd like to go back to that room sometimes, but I do. I guess somewhere in my mind you are still there, waiting for me to visit.
I'm glad it's not like that anymore though, Pop. I like to console myself all the time thinking of the happy reunion you and Mom must have had.
I'm imagining the look on Jesus' Face when Mom pushed past Him to run and meet you! I'll bet He got a kick out of her!

Well, I miss you lots, Pop. Mom too.

Happy Anniversary. I know it's silly, but I found a lot of comfort in the fact that you passed on August 18.
8/18 Armstrong Avenue.

Oh, and, Pop, thanks for giving us a little comic relief there at the end, taking about a dozen 'last breaths'! You're the best, Pop!
You know, I never had that desperate feeling of "Don't go!" "Don't leave us!" In fact, I felt just the opposite with both you and Mom, as your last breaths drew near I felt at peace with it.

Well, my heart's feeling a little bit lonesome today without you, Pop. But it's also at peace, and I'm glad your trials are over.

I love you, Dad.


  1. Oh Eileen, I have tears in my eyes reading this. I know how you feel sweetie, I have been there. He is at peace and I'm sure he even stops in once in a while to see if you and Jayden are doing okay. Thinking of your mom and pop together must bring you such comfort, in time you will all be reunited again. I truly believe this. Keep the warm and happy memories close in your heart and move forward with a heart full of thanks for having such a wonderful father. My thoughts and prayers are with you today, this tribute is very beautiful.
    Love you my friend.....:-) Hugs

  2. Beautiful post Eileen...I so related to your feelings of great sadness and yet thankfullness of your Dad's passing.

    My Mother's peaceful passing, with all of us there 2 years ago also, comforts me now when I'm missing her terribly. We would talk everyday...and it still pains me, to realize that she isn't a phone call away, but they do live on in our memories.

    Hope your sadness is lightened today with all the fond memories of your Dad and Mom that you and your bothers and sisters share!


  3. This was a very nice letter to pop's Eileen. And its a good thing to express how you are feeling. You were so lucky to have what sounds like great folks! Love You, Di

  4. We can be so happy that out loved ones are in Heaven but the ache for the loss of their physical presence in our lives is very natural. As much as I painfully ache for Mario's presence and even my mom, dad and many others, I would not or could not wish them back from the beauty and painfree and ecstatic life they now have, so it's a matter of offering up the pain I feel for their increased happiness with our Creator.

    This was a lovely way to give a loving tribute to your dad, Eileen, so heart warming.

    How extra special that little Jayden got the information before everyone else and then shared it with you!

    blessings and loving hugs,


  5. p.s. Did you once live on 8/18 Armstrong Ave.?

  6. Thank you, everyone, for your very kind and generous comments.
    I know my parents are in a much better place and I'm very happy for them, I've just been kind of melancholy lately, and sometimes longing for things that no longer exist. And sometimes reality doesn't matter one iota, the heart wants what it wants. But that doesn't take away from the thankfulness I have for the Blessings of here and now.
    My sister Marybeth once said to me "I want to go home", and I knew exactly what her heart was yearning for. Today, Marybeth, my heart would like to visit there with you too.

    Marcy, my Dad's parents had that house built out in Minnesota.

    Thanks for visiting, everyone.
    Love, Eileen

  7. Thanks for sharing this Eileen. I try and stop by from time to time and read and am so glad I stopped by on this day.

    You have a beautiful blog and I enjoy reading it.

  8. Eileen-

    Oh my, tears are streaming down my face - your words, lovely sentiments, memory, faith and sadness have deeply touched me. And the photos is perfect. Today I am thinking of you and your Pop and celebrating the love and joy you all shared.

    Love Gail

  9. Another beautiful post, Eileen. What a blessing to have a Pop who can model so well the true Father's love. You are a credit to him.

  10. Thank you, Gail, you put it perfectly, celebrating the love and joy we all shared. As the day goes on I am feeling more joyful, thanks.

    And Bernie, I loved what you said about my Dad stopping in once in awhile to see how we're doing, I feel that both my Mom and Dad do that often. Thank you.

    Wanda, I feel exactly the same, if my Mom and Dad weren't here visiting us, we'd either be visiting them or I'd be on the phone with my Mom. Not a day went by that we didn't speak until my Mom got so bad with the Alzheimer's, but those bad memories are fading, and now the good memories make me miss her even more.
    And you are also so right about the sadness and thankfulness intermingled, to this day.

    Thanks, Diana, I was so Blessed to have these wonderful people for parents, and I know that if I were not so Blessed I would not be so heartsick now. I wouldn't trade a minute, Di, I'll take the sad along with the Blessings.

    Marcy, when Jayden told me about my Dad passing, I knew it was going to be, I didn't doubt for one minute that my Mom had visited and told him. And I wasn't surprised at all to get the phone call I got the next morning telling us my Dad had taken a turn for the worse.
    I know you've been through even more heartbreak, and your steadfast Faith is truly an inspiration to me, always.

    Pam and Ann, I appreciate so much you both stopping by, and I appreciate your words of encouragement too. I'm glad you enjoy reading here, Pam, as I so enjoy going to your Imperfect Women website. I love the heartfelt stories that are written there, as well as the light-hearted ones. And really, it was the two of you on your first blog that taught me to be more open-minded and fair-minded, and I'm glad to see that attitude from your first blog has carried over to your new site.
    Thanks, Ann, for your kind thoughts, and your kind words about my Dad.

    I really do appreciate you all.

  11. Hey Sweetie, What a poignant, heart wrenching post. Both of my parent made their heavenly departure in 2004, and I still have some very melancholy times. Knowing that I will see them both in Glory makes all the difference in the world. There are times that us women have that we feel only our moms could really understand and help us with. Last week, in one of my moments, I asked God to just embrace her for me and let her know how very much I miss her. I'm so thankful that our separation is only for a time!

    May God comfort you, and fill you with His peace, Eileen.
    Blessings for sharing from your heart this very special anniversary.

    Love and hugs to you, friend,

  12. Oh Eileen, I have only just read this post. I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you dear. regards, Simone xx

  13. My mother and dad still are living. I visited them yesterday. They know their time on earth is limited so the hugs and words, "I love you", are repeated over and over again between us. Reading your post today prepares me somehow for the inevitable good-byes that will be said one day. May God fill all the empty spaces with Himself and the smiles and sweetness of your precious grandchildren

  14. Thank you, Becky, I liked very much hearing about how you continue your relationship with your parents and look forward to a reunion with them one day. And thanks for your prayers.

    Simone, thank you for visiting and for your condolences and warm thoughts, I really appreciate it.

    Rebecca, you are very lucky to still have your parents and it's wonderful that you cherish time spent with them.
    You are right that my life is still very full with many joyous moments and many loved ones to surround me, and with God Who abundantly Blesses my life!

    Love to all,

  15. What a sweet and heartfelt post. I'm so sorry about the loss of your parents. But it's nice to hear that your at peace with there passing. I believe that peace is a gift from the Lord in letting you know, that everythings ok. (((hugs)))

  16. Hi Eileen, just popping in to say hello and let you know I am thinking of you. I meant to tell you I think you look like your dad.
    I love your new pink wallpaper (my favorite color) I have been working on doing mine as well, Stillness is trying to help me so I am hoping to have it done this weekend. I'm a bit afraid of loosing my blog! I too am going pink!
    Luv you.....:-) Hugs

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  18. Women, GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
    We're "The Girls".

  19. How sweet. I do know what you mean though when you hear something and want to tell him. I wonder if those feelings will ever go away. I don't think so. It is our connection between heaven and earth...our yearning to be together once again.