I thought I might be using this post title for a soup I was planning to make this weekend. I was going to try out a new recipe for my slow-cooker. But that's not what I'm using this post title for today.
Something is nagging at me and it won't go away.
Did you ever have that feeling that something's brewing? And it's something that's not very good? It feels dark and foreboding. I've been feeling that a lot lately.
I've had some unsettling things happen over the past few weeks. My husband was sick with some kind of flu bug, my oldest daughter needed emergency surgery, and one of my nieces was attacked by a young man (she is in social services and she is his case worker). Some friends too have had some sad news and some have experienced some mishaps. And Jayden has been having such a hard time with going to school, I've gotten calls to come and pick him up a few times and the teacher says his anxiety level is through the roof. Also the ominous news about the terrorists cells in New York and elsewhere around our country are extremely disturbing to me.
At first I thought all these things are playing on my emotions but I don't think that's the whole of it. If so, I would think I'd be shaking the feeling off and saying to myself, "Well, I guess that's what I was having the bad feelings about."
But I think there's still more to come. The feeling is getting stronger.
My husband always says "Oh you and your feelings! They never come true."
But that's not so. I've had dreams about things, and I've had intuitive feelings about people and events, and yes, my feelings about things sometimes do play out.
I've been praying about it, and praying that whatever it is that might happen I will have the strength to withstand it, or I will be in a position to help those who will have to carry the burden. But prayer has not brought me peace about this feeling. I just can't seem to shake it.
I keep telling myself, "If something's meant to be, it's going to happen whether I worry about it or not." And a lot of times that type of reasoning does work for me, and I'll put the bad feelings aside and go my merry way. But not this time.
Sometimes I'll just put it out there, sort of as insurance, as if saying it out loud will make the bad thing not happen. But I've already said it out loud and the bad feeling is still here.
Now I'm putting it in print. Double indemnity.
So, now, apprehension go away!
Have any of you ever gotten these 'ill at ease' feelings? What do you do to shake off the feeling that something's brewing?
2 weeks ago