Thursday, October 8, 2009

Something's Brewing

I thought I might be using this post title for a soup I was planning to make this weekend. I was going to try out a new recipe for my slow-cooker. But that's not what I'm using this post title for today.
Something is nagging at me and it won't go away.

Did you ever have that feeling that something's brewing? And it's something that's not very good? It feels dark and foreboding. I've been feeling that a lot lately.
I've had some unsettling things happen over the past few weeks. My husband was sick with some kind of flu bug, my oldest daughter needed emergency surgery, and one of my nieces was attacked by a young man (she is in social services and she is his case worker). Some friends too have had some sad news and some have experienced some mishaps. And Jayden has been having such a hard time with going to school, I've gotten calls to come and pick him up a few times and the teacher says his anxiety level is through the roof. Also the ominous news about the terrorists cells in New York and elsewhere around our country are extremely disturbing to me.

At first I thought all these things are playing on my emotions but I don't think that's the whole of it. If so, I would think I'd be shaking the feeling off and saying to myself, "Well, I guess that's what I was having the bad feelings about."
But I think there's still more to come. The feeling is getting stronger.

My husband always says "Oh you and your feelings! They never come true."
But that's not so. I've had dreams about things, and I've had intuitive feelings about people and events, and yes, my feelings about things sometimes do play out.

I've been praying about it, and praying that whatever it is that might happen I will have the strength to withstand it, or I will be in a position to help those who will have to carry the burden. But prayer has not brought me peace about this feeling. I just can't seem to shake it.
I keep telling myself, "If something's meant to be, it's going to happen whether I worry about it or not." And a lot of times that type of reasoning does work for me, and I'll put the bad feelings aside and go my merry way. But not this time.

Sometimes I'll just put it out there, sort of as insurance, as if saying it out loud will make the bad thing not happen. But I've already said it out loud and the bad feeling is still here.
Now I'm putting it in print. Double indemnity.

So, now, apprehension go away!

Have any of you ever gotten these 'ill at ease' feelings? What do you do to shake off the feeling that something's brewing?


  1. I think it's very unlikely that a person could be incorrect if they say, "I think something bad might happen in the next few months...." What's the longest you've gone without something bad happen to either someone you know or in the media?

  2. Is this Instigator? I knew YOU would NEVER understand and that is why I would never venture this subject with you, and instead took it to my friends!

    Obviously you've never had 'the feeling'. It's not a "Oh something bad is going to happen in the world at some time in the future feeling (that feeling is ALWAYS there because as you said that's just the way things are). This is a more definitive feeling of something immense happening to me or someone close to me. Not the 'happy, anticipatory' feeling you might get when you feel there's something good in the air, this is the doom feeling.
    Now, go away, and nurse yourself back to health! I heard from Protester that you are hacking away at work. (See, guys do gossip too!)

  3. Eileen, I think there is a general feeling of uneasiness right now, but it's because people are scared. Fear breeds anxiety and feeds recession. It becomes a viscious cycle. I think as Christians we should all pray protection over our country, our leaders, and each other (family, friends, neighbors) every single day and trust the Lord to guide and to keep His hand on us all.

    He will do it. So bind through prayer whatever it is that's bothering you on earth for in so doing, you bind it in Heaven, too. That's scriptural. I think when we get to Heaven one day and we are no longer "seeing in a mirror dimly" we will see the puzzle unravel. But in the mean time, pray and believe! :-)

    We all have to stand together. Where are two are more are gathered...



  4. HI EILEEN - and oh my, it appears that 'anonymous'(Instigator) has a poor history with you and others.

    So okay, I SO understand the "feeling(s)" of impending doom, darkness and I am usually right. And I know from sharing in your world that you are very intuitive too and there are things you just "know". I love that you are writing about it because now we can all begin to pray with you that you will have what you need to deal with whatever it is and/or help whomever needs help. I have always told so I can gather positive forces to help me and I beef up my prayers too!!. :-) Trust your gut and be on alert - take extra pre-cautions for a while - and please be aware - very aware. Eileen, I also believe that when whatever it is, is close, if you have heightened your awareness you will know in advance so there could be time for some preparation. Please, stay aware and alert to your surroundings. You will know when the danger passes, which it just might without any action at all - This type of intuition is like a sixth sense - hard to explain but I believe in it 100%.
    I am praying for you and all those you love

  5. You know, I usually don't have these kinds of feelings. I do worry at times over things for which I have no control. I want to make them better, but I can't many times. Some things that I can assist with I will. The rest is left to prayer and God. I hope that doesn't sound trite. I have found that I can't carry everybody's burdens. I can only take care of me and hope I am available to be of assistance in another's time of need. Your value is in your compassion and love. Don't sell yourself short. But at the same time try not to allow anxiety to monopolize your life. God Bless you abundantly!!!! Cathy

  6. Hi Sweetie! I'm certainly no authority on intuition, but that aside, the most important thing to do is be watchful and pray. God calls us to be sober and vigilant, discerning the times. With that said, though, we are to be focused on His promises, and busy about His work, rather than focusing on what bad thing might happen next. We are light and salt, and can have a tremendous impact during difficult times like these! You, my dear, have infectious enthusiasm and spread sunshine and hope and people need that from you!!! So, keep praying, shining, and being a nuisance to the devil, ok?
    We may not know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future!!

    Love and hugs to you, my friend!!
    You're a blessing!

  7. I have had these feelings only a few times...and they were not unfounded.
    I am going to pray very hard about this...knowing that God gives people the ability to discern...and no one should ever sell short anyone's ability to be able to do that. I take your thoughts seriously....and my prayers will be for understanding...for revelation....feeling that if you took the time to share your thoughts with us, that they warrant our prayers.
    Yes, I've had feelings like this. Yes, those feelings have always panned out. I can't explain them...but I never ignore them....ever.
    Eileen, being your friend, it would be natural for me to strike out with harsh words towards anonymous' comment to you, but he or she has probably never experienced what you, how could he/she understand? A lack of understanding could lead to skepticism. I say that with absolutely no animosity toward 'anomymous.' As a matter of fact, I say it with the opposite feeling. Whether you want me to or not, Anonymous, I am praying for you ...and will continue to do so.
    Smiles and love from Jackie

  8. I had a "heavy" week last week prior to my husband's heart episode. I DO know about those strong impressions that you are referring to. I don't always handle them with the grace and insight that I read about, wish for, or see others exhibit. But when I "catch" myself, I try to immerse myself in the Psalms and put on strong praise music. I don't always "catch" myself....but I believe that God is here to catch me. My head knows I can trust Him. My heart is sometimes unsteady.....

  9. I feel for your uneasiness Eileen...I've had feelings of anxiety at times, but never dark and foreboding feelings of doom. Did you have these feelings before Jayden started school...maybe it all comes from feeling helpless to help him adjust faster and your own loss of his presence. You could just be suffering anxiety from is very stressful to watch our children or g/children
    suffer in any way.

    I do believe in trusting one's instincts though...if something doesn't feel right...don't do it...if there are doubts...don't do it...better safe than sorry.

    Luv and Smiles,

  10. Eileen, I know who Instigator and Protester are...but the others may not...which is a little funny in a way...

  11. I so strongly remember being on my knees and praying in a hospital chapel when Mario (my sweet hubby in Heaven)underwent a device implant in his brain to help with the Parkinson's and then again when Michael underwent open heart surgery. I was anxiously and nervously asking God to please be there with the surgeons and to please allow all to result in everything positive and good...then I realized that I was asking only for my will to be done. With unbelieveable difficulty I prayed again and told God that I accept His Will and outcome, knowing that He holds us all in His loving that point I finally felt peace.

    All I am saying is that what seems impossible to give to Him and not worry is what gives us ultimate peace. Now, did I stop praying??...nope, so pray and leave it in His Hands as much as you can. God does want us to be vigilant and to pray unceasingly but with hope and love.

    blessings, protective hugs and holy prayers,


  12. Eileen..I'm sorry that you are having such uneasy feelings. (I'm also sorry that some people don't know how to be uplifting and supportive..)I do think we all need to be keeping each other in prayer and praying for our country too. You and all my dear bloggy friends, are in my prayers EVERY day and will continue to be. I wish I was closer so that I could give you a BIG hug!! Just keep praying, and know that all the rest of us are keeping you and your family in our prayers too..
    Love You Eileen.....Jerelene

  13. Oh yes indeedy Eileen I have felt these same feelings, This is when I take my fall. I close my eyes and pretend that I am falling backwards ,
    And I know that that God will catch me before I hit bottom . It is when my faith kicks in . I just give up my worry, close my eyes and say "lord you will catch me.". It's all that is needed and its all that matters.
    Trust in him and it will all work out.
    What choice do you have, you can worry and stress but thats not what we are supposed to do. So give it up my friend.Let yourself fall backward with your eyes closed. He will catch you, he will be there. Love Di
    Oh and don't forget to say your prayers tonight.
    I love you Eileen, Love Di

  14. Oh A big P.S. to anonymous. Where did you come from? Bad things happen all the time and we know this, We're not stupid. But we all have feelings of dread. Perhaps you can open your heart and empathize. Perhaps not. If not what a sad, sad life you will find yourself in. I think you must be a sad, sad person.
    It's not to late for you however. Just OPEN your mind! Love Di

  15. Eileen, I have had these feelings and sometimes bad things did happen....when I feel this way I get anxious so I light a white candle and say my helps to calm me and I do believe that God will handle our fears and anxieties and whatever may happen. I try and do everything I normally do, and I also try to be extra kind to others at this time....I will pray for you my friend and know that I have experienced these same feelings and understand....Love you....:-) Hugs

  16. PS: I honestly don't feel the instigator means to upset you, I think it's a left brain, right brain thing and he just doesn't understand how intuitive a woman, wife and mother can be. Somehow I think he cares very much for you and your feelings and is either trying to be logical or teasing you (trying to get a reaction) Luv ya....:-) Hugs

  17. Good morning Eileen, I understand exactly what you are saying. I get these feelings too. In fact sometimes my hubby jokingly refers to me as a witch. I don't always know when something is going to happen but I do many times. It's all very weird. I think in general we all feel uneasy about these times we live in. I just try to stay as close as I can to God and that really helps. I hope you have a lovely weekend. I didn't know about your daughter. I hope she is recovered now. I will say some prayers that things are better with all of you soon. Give Jayden a hug from Charli and me. Our little Thomas suffered from seperation anxiety too.

  18. THANK YOU!!
    Thank you all for the validation! You don't know how good it feels to unburden this on people who understand!
    And, really, after reading all your comments, and knowing that you are all praying, I do feel as if a burden has been lifted.
    I still have that nagging 'uh-oh' feeling, but it's somehow much lighter, and a real feeling of peace is settling in.
    I really mean it when I say that your thoughts have helped me so much. As I read the words here I actually did feel so much better.

    And I think you are all one hundred percent correct about the trust issue. Trusting in our own instincts, and most of all a trust in God.
    I think that's where a lot of my uneasiness stems from sometimes.
    Is it a gift, this instinct? Is it something that should be paid careful attention? Is a form of protection from Heaven?
    Or are these doom feelings from an evil source bent on playing up our fears? I'd certainly hate to give in to anything along those lines, and yet I don't think it's wise to ignore something that might be a message from a place of goodness.

    I'm not one to knock all psychics, I mean how do we know they don't have a Gift from God? Didn't even main characters in the Bible have these Gifts of interpreting dreams? I don't think everything along the lines of feelings or predictions are always evil. But I am very skeptical. I don't know if it's being a New Yorker that makes me so skeptical of everyone and everything, or if that's just my genetic make up, but I am very wary.

    And I think all the suggestions here that maybe these feelings are wrapped up in just my uneasy feelings about uneasy situations that are present in my life now can add to bad feelings.
    I'm just going to pray that I pay attention and try to see if God is trying to tell me something, because that's the only way I'd want this in my life, if it's something from God.

    I appreciate so much all your prayers, I am a big believer in the Power of Prayer.

    Oh, and I'm not exactly sure who Anonymous is, but I have my instincts about that too! And, Wanda, you have me laughing with tears streaming down my face, and I needed that! I can't stop giggling!

    Seriously, you girls are THE BEST! I value your opinions, I value your friendship, and above all I value your prayers! Please continue to remember me in your prayers as I will remember all of you.
    I'm glad God threw us all together! And right now I'm offering many thankful prayers to Heaven! From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all.

    Have a great day, ladies!
    Love to you all,

  19. Jayden's MommyOctober 9, 2009 at 10:20 AM

    Okay, now I am REALLY scared to get on an airplane with you next week. As if my fear of flying wasn't bad enough...

    I will be thinking about this post as our plane goes down!!!

    Thanks alot, Mommy!!!! It just better happen on the way home rather than on the way there, so we at least get to enjoy our trip before we go to Heaven...

    But, if anything happens, I am totally blaming you and your instincts...

  20. First of all, I love how your daughter calls you Mommy. That is so endearing.

    I have heard many people, come to think of it they are all women, who are feeling just as you are lately. I pray every night that we will be prepared...that we will be prompted now to prepare how we should for the future. We live in crazy scary times. Thankfully God is in control and all will be well. Meanwhile however I think us women carry the worry...we never have just ourselves to think about, but our husband, all our children and grandchildren and friends and loved ones to worry about. It's the way God made us.
    Well I don't know anonymous and I could be wrong, but my first inclination was to think he was trying to help. I have to admit that when I am really scared I want someone to say things like that. I remember one day about 20 years ago we had an earthquake. As soon as the earth quit moving I packed my babies in the car and drove to my parents house only a mile away...I didn't want to be alone for the aftershocks. My dad in trying to help said, "Do you know how many people have been killed in an earthquake in this town in forever? Zero!" And it did actually help me a lot to hear that...suddenly he put things into perspective for me and I was okay again.

    I've been sharing some of your same thoughts and fears lately.

  21. Yikes. Sorry for being such a nasty, sad person. Maybe it's just my upbringing!

    I was indeed just pointing out logically that "weird vibe" or no, there's always that awful chance that bad things could happen (to people we know or on the news). And whether you feel it coming or not, could you even avoid it? It's not worth stressing about, unless you see something specific to deal with. So thanks to the optimistis who didn't assume I was just putting a blight on the world.

  22. I'm a littl late in reading your post, Eileen, and perhaps you won't see this comment, but I do want to agree with what you've said and most of your commenters. I have had feelings of impending danger, especially surrounding my children. I can thankfully say that nothing happened...ever. When I hear of a child being abducted, or a child dying of cancer, or a son being killed in the war...I think of my kids and the "what ifs" start to swim around in my head. I immediately turn it over in prayer, knowing that if there is "something brewing", my weapon against it is prayer and faith in God. I also believe that He warns us, both in scripture and in spirit, and we are to heed what we hear...sometimes we know, for example, I live in California, so we are as prepared as we can be, by having food, water, clothing, etc., to hopefully see us through. If I don't know what the warning is for, I fall on my knees and pray that the Lord battle against my enemy for me, because I can't. I can only fight with my trust in Him. I believe that He warns us so we WILL pray, and draw near to Him. We can stop those events from happening through prayer. I don't know what people do that don't have a faith in God and that don't believe in prayer. The Lord does protect them too, I think, and by doing so, He shows His love for them...sometimes that will cause them to believe. I also agree that there is much to disturb us as we watch and listen to the unbelievable changes in our country. Our security blanket has been taken from us, and we are now left uncovered by a corrupt government. But we are not uncovered by our God...He is our covering...we need to run and hide under His wings. We all will be facing some unbelievable challanges that will test our faith and our entire belief system...perhaps we are being prepared to stand strong. I am speaking these words to myself as well as to you. I struggle with fears and anxieties, too. So glad you shared this today. I am praying for the Lord to give you peace and to protect you and your family. Keep smiling, Eileen, and turn your face toward Heaven!

    God bless!

  23. No, Mary, you're not too late! I keep coming back here to savor everyone's wise words, and it really gives me a feeling of calm to read everybody's Faith, and to know that I am being prayed for. And it's helpful to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with these feelings at times.

    I had come across a quote just the other day about things that lead us to prayer, and I think maybe sometimes that's what these feelings may be all about, a path to prayer.

    Jill, you made me feel better too, and I know I'm going to sound like "MISERY LOVES COMPANY", but, seriously, it does make me feel better to know that this is shared. And it does make me feel empowered to know that we are locked together in feelings as wives, mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, and most of all I love how you all remind me to keep my eye on the finish line.
    I read on another blog a beautiful poem/prayer today about being a child of The King. It was something I really needed today. And all your words and prayers here today too is something my heart and soul needed. And I thank you all.

    And to all my children who may be reading and/or commenting here ~ you are all nuts! But you are MY nuts, and I LOVE YOU!!
    And I hope you love your nutty mother too!

  24. Hi Eileen, I have been very interested in your blog and I have read through all of the comments afterward, and I too have had these 'feelings', but then I am always feeling like the hammer is going to fall at any given moment.

    Sometimes though, I get very strong feelings about certain things, even so small as to wait five or ten minutes before leaving to go somewhere, and very often on my way I have seen a bad accident, and I think, I could have possibly been in it if I had left when I wanted to.

    I don't know where these feelings or thoughts come from, but I try to listen to them.

    Once, I came in my front door, after being away all morning, and as soon as I entered the house, I felt something was not right, the feeling was so strong. I stood and listened for a moment, then got back in my car and drove to my friends house. I told her what I felt and we both went back to my house to find that it had been ransacked, and every telephone jack in the house had been pulled out. The person had apparently left by the bedroom window, because it was open and the screen was broken off and lying on the ground. I think that when I came home, the person was still there, and I may have frightened him away. I still shudder at what may have happened if I did not listen to my instincts.

    I think you have discernment, and very strong intuition, and you probably have an idea about what the 'impending doom' is. I would pray about it and listen to the instructions you get, for it is far better to be safe than sorry.

    I believe there are signs everywhere, if we are open to them, direction signs, warning signs, go signs, stop signs...wait signs..etc. and some people are more in tune to them than others. I think you are a person who sees through the smoke screen, and sees the truth.

    Anyway, that is just what I think...((((HUGS)))) T

  25. Dearest Eileen, The Bible tells us that God does not want us to worry, although I know it is hard! The other night we were in our safe room with tornadoes and rotation all around us, and let me tell you- I was worrying! But, try to remember that their may be "tornadoes" all around you but they may never do any damage.:) Make brownies, sing songs, get ready for the holidays and do things that bring you joy. What will be, will be as God has a plan for us all, dear friend....

    Oh, you asked about my jewelry. Thank you so much for your sweet comments, by the way! I use sterling silver and copper in some of my treasures and after doing a bit of research I believe they would be safe for you. The bracelet I just finished is not made with copper or sterling, though. If you have something in mind or just want to "talk" let me know!

    Thank you so much for your sweet letter, Eileen! I feel like we have been friends for a long time even though we have only just "met".;) Lori

  26. Thank you, Teresa, for such validation! And I'm glad you listen to your instincts! That was a scary story!
    And, really, I do think a lot of inner feelings are warranted. I remember listening to a self-defense program on TV and a police officer said, "If something doesn't feel right in a situation, get yourself out of there, listen to that inner voice and run!"

    Ray was just saying he couldn't get over the responses here on this post, and he said he thinks a lot of women are like this with their 'mother's intuition' and feelings, and I think he's right.
    I know many times I've had that intuition about my kids, sometimes even doctors 'pooh-poohed' me, but in the end, my instincts were right!

    Lori, thanks so much for your advice and for sharing your experiences too, and thanks for getting back to me on my question. I'll email you.

    You have all helped me more than you know. And you always uplift my spirit!

    I posted something for tomorrow, but of course Blogger went nuts on me and posted it already! But that's fine, maybe someone will get to read it that wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

    Many thanks to you all! I'm grateful that God has allowed us to cross paths!
    Love and Prayers,

  27. To Anonymous......
    Love your sense of humor. You sound like a perfect villager, to me.
    Uhmm hmmm.

  28. Eileen, never doubt your 'woman's intuition'! It is a gift from God.

    I work in a prison environment and there is a book you might be interested in and could even find at the library: It titled, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Every day I pray to be filled with the 'Spirit' so that I may be able to discern the climate of the prison yard. There are and have been times when the hair on the back of my neck has stood up. I totally pay attention to those feelings and they are usually founded.

    With respect to our nation, I offer the following: "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14.


  29. Hi Again Eileen, My scary story remimds me a lot ot the one your wrote about with REDRUM written on the chalkboard. You too had intuition enough to know something was not right.
    ((((HUGS))))) T

  30. Jackie, you are too funny! And thanks for another visit!

    Tamara, I am going to get that book!
    And I've been reading that same prayer on so many blogs I visit. Maybe that's what is "in the air" and many more people than myself are feeling the very same thing.
    Thanks for kind comments, I appreciate it.

    Teresa, thank you for a second visit too! And you're right about the story at school! Whether evil forces are working against us from humans or beyond, it's nice to know that other good forces are working for our protection!
    And I'm so grateful to have the friendship and prayers of everyone here in the village!

    Love to you all,