Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Intense Grief

An acquaintance relayed to me tonight some devastating news that she had gotten. She wrote to me that she had lost a loved one in such a tragic way, and reading her words, and reading her pain hurt my heart, I can only imagine how she must feel in her own heart. She is not someone I know well, and I don’t want to intrude on her life or her grief. And not knowing her well, I wouldn’t really know how to support her in such a time of tragedy. I can only offer her my prayers and the same advice I would give to one of my own. Some of it is advice that I have been very fortunate to gain from others, some of it is just what I have found myself doing as I muddled through trying times and it has helped me.

While living through these dark days, embrace the grief and the sorrow for a little while, fall to pieces once in awhile, get angry, and remember that it’s okay to feel deeply sorry for yourself every now and then. Also, remember that you have no choice over the actions of others, but you can choose to live through this and move on.
Be gentle with yourself, and remember to ask for help. Don’t withdraw too long, but do withdraw for a little while, go inside yourself, it’s a nice place to be, for sometimes in solitude we find solace and we find we’re closest to God. Find support anywhere you can. Find peace. Express your feelings. Write. Work on your guilt. Forgive yourself. Forgive your loved one for leaving. Honor yourself, and your lost loved one, and God by living a life full of love and joy. Thrive. Know that it’s okay to be happy, know that it’s okay to laugh. Surround yourself with friends and family when you are ready to let them in. Immerse yourself in love. And remember that devastation can be transition. Losing a loved one brings unbearable anguish, but the Power of God brings us from that place of darkness and confusion to a place of light and understanding.
And always remember that God Prevails.

If anyone is reading this, please send up a prayer for my new friend and her family in their time of intense grief.


  1. I tried to leave a comment almost as soon as you posted this, but my computer would not cooperate (randomly my keyboard refuses to communicate with my computer...think one is a female and one is a male?)
    Please know that I did pray for your new friend when I did my nightly Bible reading.

    blessings in abundance to both you and her,

  2. Thank you, Marcy, you are always so kind.
    I'll be your way later today but first I have some running around to do.