Friday, February 20, 2009

Jan's Birthday

Yesterday was my friend Jan's birthday, and as usual, I forgot to send a card. I knew it was her birthday, I had it written on my calendar, and I even had the card bought (although not written out of course). My intentions are always good, but somehow I never follow through. Jan, once again, my apologies.
Jan's a very forgiving friend, lucky for me, because in over the twenty years we've been friends Jan never forgets to send out cards for every occasion (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and I mean every single holiday), I think I must get cards at least once a month from Jan. And in return, I think Jan has maybe gotten three cards from me in our whole entire friendship. I don't know why she stays my friend.
I was thinking about our friendship yesterday and wondered what kept the friendship together. Jan and I met when our girls were little and in dance school together and I often wonder what the initial attraction to a friendship with me was there for Jan. We are so totally different. Jan is perfection. I call her Martha Stewart. I am far from perfection. I am more like Rosanne Barr. Jan has every little hair in place, she irons all her clothes, (her blue jeans, her pajamas, and even her sheets, I'm lucky if I hit 'retouch' on the dryer to de-wrinkle my clothes). Jan loves to entertain and when Jan entertains she uses real dishes, real glasses, and real utensils. If you come to one of my parties you'll be eating off of Chinette plates, drinking from paper cups, and using plastic utensils. Jan agonizes over the menu and makes everything herself, from scratch no less. I cater everything and ask you to bring the dessert. Jan has cocktail parties, I have pool parties. I remember once years ago my daughter was playing at her house with her daughter, and my sister Diane went to Jan's house to bring my daughter back home. Well, Diane said she couldn't believe it when Jan answered the door, it was a very hot and humid day, but Jan answered the door looking cool as a cucumber, dressed in a matching shorts set, with matching shoes, and jewelry on, and she had just been sitting out on her back porch reading a book, it was just a normal day at home for Jan ('dressed' as usual to perfection). Diane said Jan's house was spotless (as usual, I have never seen Jan's house as anything but spotless), and Diane said she'd be embarrassed to ever have Jan in her house. I got over that a long time ago, my house is never spotless. And to Jan's credit, she never takes note of it. And Jan very kindly raves about my matching paper plates and napkins for dessert! In our little group of friends we call Jan the social secretary, it is Jan that plans all our lunch and dinner dates. In fact it is Jan that plans almost all of our outings together, she arranges everything, makes the phone calls, coordinates the time, and she plays chauffer to us all too. Jan is a good friend. She's the type of friend that offers to cook dinner for you when you're busy taking care of frail parents. She's the type of friend that takes you out on a shopping spree when she thinks you need a pick-me-up. Jan will send cards and notes with words of encouragement during times of stress. Jan is a very good friend and I know why I'm lucky to have her in my life. I just wonder why she keeps me in her life!
Once again, Jan, Happy Belated Birthday!!

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